In a gas station running errands for someone that I don’t want to be doing things for. I’m holding a jug of juice and a packet of tobacco when I hear the clerk say that some idiot just bought a case of that low-quality tobacco. I know that it must have been the same person I am shopping for and if they can take care of their own needs, why am I spending my time and money doing it for them?
As a young girl, standing on my hands, flipping with ease. My talent for gymnastics does not mean I want to do it. I just don’t want to disappoint anyone. I walk in the dark along my childhood street to a regional competition. When I get there my coach tells my parents that I’m gifted, but I’m not invested. Have they ever asked me if I want to compete? They tell me that they never want me to do something that I don’t want to do. I tell them that I can do it just fine and so I do, but I don’t really want to.
In a courtroom before a trial. I tell my opponent to name as many playing cards as she can without a pause between them. She names 22 cards. I’m holding 19 of the cards she named, 3 of them are incorrect. I log the results in an open spreadsheet. I’m getting better. “What do you think the chances were of me guessing all of those correctly?” I ask her. She tells me, “I think I wouldn’t want to meet you in a court of law.” I smile at her discomfort as the judge walks in.