julia sent me a video of my cats. she knew i missed them. i ran up to the computer lab to watch it but my college roommates were already there, in my account, playing it before i even had a chance to see it. they were oblivious to boundaries and expected privacy and didn’t understand why i was hurt. when i watched the video it was 2 cats but not mine. gray and orange, but not bandit and jaspers. the orange one was between jaspers and raj, the gray one between grace and bandit.
a friend has confided that he was sexually assaulted by a former teacher. it was years ago but the impact is only being realized and the emotions are raw. i confront her on his behalf. she doesn’t deny it.
in my apartment, i can hear my new neighbors talking through the wall. they are talking about the rules of a tarot game and how many people they need to join. i go out my back door through halls of library archives to a half door at the back of their apartment. i lean in and say hello, mention that i wouldn’t mind playing. she tells me her name. i write it down but i can never remember it. Aleile? Alela?
At night the tentacles come out. they aren’t attached to a squid or octopus. they’re more like leeches. they are attracted to light. if they latch onto you, you’ll get sick and die. we sleep on a bed on the street with a curtain around it. about 8 of us in one big bed. my friend is there. it’s all hitting him so hard. he’s curled up naked, in a tight fetal position. i hold him in the dark. i whisper while everyone sleeps. i love you i love you i love you. i’m here. i love you.