Getting settled in our new home.  Arriving there and discovering that it is nothing but cement and latex paint. we move in anyway because we’re starting out on our own and it’s what we can get. i stand in the bedroom door while he’s talking to me and i notice hannah chasing something.  it’s a white rat or mouse. he doesn’t notice and doesn’t care when i mention it.  she pushes it to my feet and i take it from her.  it’s dead, or will be soon.  it’s bald and scraped and battered.  alarms scream in my head: YOU HAVE BEEN DOWN THIS PATH BEFORE. IT ONLY GETS DARKER FROM HERE. the urge to run, cry, scream, and vomit at the same time.