i was a 15 year old boy who fucked selena gomez in the ass last night. i hesitated at first, but she really wanted it and she moaned so loud i knew she wanted my friends to hear. then i, as myself, gave the boy, who was me, an uplifting talk about how 90% of what teachers say and friends claim is total bullshit. “you know that right?” and i, the boy, was sitting on the couch in my 90’s grunge look and answered, “yeah, i’m starting to figure that out. it’s kind of a relief actually. it leaves room to do my own thing.”