inside a warehouse that has been converted to an art gallery that is hosting a concert that sometimes has an in-ground heated pool in the middle of the space but also sometimes doesn’t. i am standing against the back wall with a friend.  there is a tall red-haired girl there on her own and she keeps smiling at me and saying how great it is to see the band.  the band is not great.  i’ve seen them 3 times before and every time they have been spectacular.  against the blank wall of a warehouse on a pallet stage, they just look small and sound hollow.  half the people aren’t even paying attention but everyone seems to be having a nice time anyway.  Ed is there, carrying a case of goggles and eyeglasses over his torso, straps over his shoulders and across his back.  he’s 14 and fully concentrating on selling his items, not enjoying the show.  no one is buying the yellow and pink plastic things. the band is getting ready to sing a fan favorite and the red-haired girl goes to the stage and sings it for them.  she doesn’t know all of the words, her voice is throaty and flat, and everyone sings along.  sometimes she is in the front, sometimes she is in the back with me, twisting her fingers so they are grasping mine, smiling huge, singing about chaos. Aethy is there and gives me a look and a grin, teases me about getting her number, offers her van if we need a place to get to know each other.  i laugh it off.  i’m not interested in this girl at all.  when the song is over, the band exits a back door, letting sunshine in, and people start moving display cases back in so the crowd can buy weed.  i look behind me and to my right and see an entryway to a room in the back i hadn’t noticed before.  it’s well lit and full of fragile objects.  on the top glass shelves are glazed vases dipped in gold.  on all other glass shelves are tiny glass sculptures of animals.  i glance at a lizard and admire it while being afraid to break anything. each of the pieces have globs of gold inside of them. it’s all so beautiful and surely more than i can afford.  my mother is there, it’s her shop.  i walk to the northeast corner and see a display of what i think are knit hats.  i get excited because that’s something i could buy and there is a powder blue and white striped hat with a monkey and moon on it that i really want.  but when i touch it to pull it down i realize it’s baby clothes, a onesie.  i’m crushed. i tell my mother that i wish it was a hat, i love the design.  she says that she might get hats like that. she would only want them to be for boys, but she understands that some girls would have them also.  then she tells me that she talked to her friend sue and she told her that i’ll never find a job making as much as i asked for.  and if i do somehow manage to find a job making that much, i’ll be so busy i’ll hate it and want to leave in just a few weeks. i have always thought my mom’s friend is a bitch and now i’m pissed at my mom for ruining a perfectly good evening by bringing negativity into a bright room full of beauty.