in an apartment that is entirely cream and beige – walls, furniture, carpet, curtains.  my dad tells me that his illegitimate daughter wants to meet him and he really wants to have a relationship with her.  she’s the same age as me and it’s my call.  he doesn’t want to ruin our relationship by adding another sibling if i can’t handle it. i can’t, and i tell him so.  he is saddened by my request but agrees not to reach out to her.   when he is gone, me and my brother hear tapping on the wall and some aluminum sound.  i stand on furniture and open a frosted window pane like a flap and stick my head out.  sitting in the hallway is another version of my brother.  it’s HER brother. they are going to annoy us until we let my dad visit her.  her brother flicks the tab on an empty pop can, being obnoxious to upset us and our neighbors.  fine. if they want to meet their family, we’ll take them to my grampa.  so we lead them to his house.  my grampa is craig t. nelson and he lives in a giant cabin with a huge yard. also his steps leading to the front door and his yard are covered in balloons.  he just thought it would be fun. my brother and i leave behind the brother and sister and we walk through a sea of colorful balloons toward town.
when we get to town we split up.  i meet up with amy.  she unpacks a pot from a box and places it in a milk carton. they’ve got a nice spot on the blacktop behind a brick building.  on a collapsible table she gives me presents.  she wants me to see how many are double packets.  i open several cellophane bags that each hold a ball of beads loosely netted that separates into hundreds of individual beads when you squeeze it. it’s shaped like a plastic model of an atomic compound. i open all the packets and only the last one contains two atomic compounds. i put them all in the pot separated by colors.  i have no idea what it is i’m supposed to do with them or why they were given to me.
i turn away and walk toward someone i recognize.  jason asks me if i’ve seen uncle pierce recently and i tell him i haven’t. he says he hasn’t seen him in a few years and he hadn’t seen him in so long before that that pierce recognized him before he recognized pierce.  we shake our heads and the mysterious passage of time when everything feels so still.
lake michigan has risen so much that the water has creeped up to the buildings here in the burbs.  on a raft on the lake Ghost is playing He Is.  i tell jason that i love this song, the melody is so soothing, i’ve been waking up to it for months.
i wake up startled and worried that i’ve overselpt.  i haven’t.  24 minutes left to sleep.