at the pet store.  speedwalking through the aisles.  the place is dirty.  the glass cases are blurred with fingerprints and gunk.  there is hamster bedding everywhere.  but i find her.  a little baby hannah, just a couple months older than when we first found her.  i needed her since the first hannah was getting older and i couldn’t imagine life without her. i pick her up out of the case and leave.
we are walking on campus when a huge branch cracks and falls to the ground.  it falls in perfectly even logs.  several of them go into the above ground pool.  i can’t believe they didn’t take the pool down.  i look to see if anyone is hurt.  i don’t notice anyone.  a student is in the pool, fully clothed in sneakers jeans and sweatshirt.  he bends down to grab a log with one hand to keep one side of him dry but he can’t do it, he doesn’t have a good grip.  i comment that he’s going to have to go totally under and pity laugh at the boy.  he dives under and throws out huge logs.  the pool’s waves slosh out from the change.  i comment that when i went to shimer, our pool had a ladder, but it leaked.  a girl nods and says that this one is good but they have to keep it really clean.
jason tells me that he has invited the entire student body to a meeting to talk about a word that sounded familiar and strange all at once. it starts with an A but I can’t remember what it was.  he says, they don’t know what that means, can you believe that? when we were their age, we’d be ashamed.  these guys have just never had reason to know its meaning. so we’re going to show them.  i’m worried about it, but later everyone chats in the dark basement and it seems to go well.  i can’t stand not having anything to do so while the meeting ends, i crawl around and sweep up dark corners.  i can hardly see anything down here.  i’m positive i’m sweeping up bugs with the bits of dried leaves, but i just keep going.  when things are quiet i stand up and see Brett sitting in a classroom chair, staring straight ahead at a glowing tv screen.  he has a tv dinner and is holding little hannah.  i ask him what he is watching and he shows me the giant beta tape cover.  Lowrisers.  A horror movie about a couple in their 30’s living in a bungalow.  Really?  no, i tell him.  I don’t want her watching that so young.  and i already feel uneasy, please turn it off.  he does.
as we’re going upstairs i explain about the two hannahs.  he has picked up his mail but drops it and can’t catch it because he is holding the puppy.  when the mail hits the floor, two jack in the box clowns spring up from letters.  one is pennywise.  the other is a b&w version of pennywise.  Sidewinders. the movie title comes back to me.  we look at each other. he tells me not to panic. he has hannah in his arms, jasper is right there, everybody is ok.
but what about older hannah?