last night’s mindfuck/dream and the reason i was extra late to work today: we just wanted to live the rest of our lives in peace. so we went to the moon. or, we went to a soundstage that was like the moon. with dinosaur roars approaching. when the little man in the hard hat hurried through our space, we stopped him and explained that we had not signed up for the adventure of being hunted. he looked over our papers and agreed. he tells me that we cannot use money here and so my salary will go to my friend White Tree and I say that is what i want, and i thank Nat in my head for her bright color scheme in that past life. later, picking up my daughter (I am now my husband) we sit in traffic in the sun, with battery operated fans to blow the desert sand away if needed. “why are we still?” she asks. i do not answer. but it’s because everything opens at once. if you start too soon, we kick dust up in each others’ faces. i spot the child-man in the distance and look into his ancient and knowing light-brown eyes. it’s time. the entire city rolls into motion, all of us together, perfectly timed. i put the fan down as i will not need it and shout for joy. laying on a porch swing (still as my husband) i watch while my daughter plays with folds of fabric. she makes a dress with pockets for scuba gear and wonders why no one has thought of it before. she tells me, “mom said she liked your rhythm.” and she (me) is older now, asking “how are you doing?” “when did you know?” “when could you tell others?” “when could you tell me?” and she (me) lays face down on top of him (me) and wails, “I miss her!” (me) and we sob together.