dreams as i remember having them last night: stocking a big box store with bright packages containing all of our belongings. my mom offering to drive us to the airport on sunday night and the excited homesick panic of the time to leave being upon us. brett offering to drive. being in the car with his friend eric, going up a mountain in reverse, brett so busy talking he almost missed a curve and eric grabbing the steering wheel to keep us on the road, going faster and faster, still backwards, bumping up and over the mountain edge, screaming as we were falling to our deaths and thinking how pretty the tree tops were poking through the fog. going for a walk in the summer heat, entering a house and going upstairs to the master bedroom which was the master bedroom from our first house that burned, making out and wanting to fuck more than anything but brett insisting that we use a condom. they were mint flavored and green. he blew two of them up like a balloon because he didn’t know how to put them on. i tried to show him but every single one broke.